No, I did not run out of the room screaming when I saw an disconcertingly poised lamb carcass resting on the demo room table this morning. I am a vegetarian, but I have a well weathered appreciation for meats having grown up snacking on salami and polishing off t-bone steaks the size of Xena the Warrior Princess's breastplate.
And no, I did not have flashes of this lamb frolicking and leaping gayly through daisy dusted meadows licking dew drops and eating clover-- It's hard to imagine anything lively about a hunk of headless sinew and muscle sitting sturdy as the sphinx in Egypt.
...Although I don't think I will be able to think of one of my childhood favorite TV shows, Lamb Chop, in quite the same way again.
The only thing that really got to me was the eerily chiropractic maneuver to separate the fore-quarter from the hind-quarter of this headless beast--A noise which made me, A) kind of want to crack my own back to see if I could, too, achieve such a hair-raisingly satisfying sound and B) hold on to my spine for dear life and never, ever let go.
The lamb was soon disassembled at which point I could feel the tension in the room slowly ease away.
Isn't it weird that people can't stand seeing meat in it's true form? (I mean, our severed friend (as shown in the first picture) can hardly be called a lamb in it's "true form", but, close enough?)
The fun part came when we got the chance to use our cleavers! There isn't really much to say about using a cleaver other than the fact that I highly recommend it. Nothing else in the world allows you to release a hilarious kind of rage and make you feel like a Disney movie character all in the same, swift chop. (The chef in The Little Mermaid, if you were unaware to which character I was referring.)So we chopped and cleaned and seared and roasted and, voilĂ :
I am now a vegetarian who can cook a damn good rack o' lamb.
-H


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